Success God's Way

I am suddenly interested in the character Joseph in the Christmas story.  Although the Bible had little recorded about him, he is quite an important person.  He was a young boy at the start of Christmas story because people marry young during those times.  When he first appeared in the Bible, I wonder what he was planning for his life?  He was a young carpenter about to marry this girl Mary whom he probably knew as a family friend.  I am sure he may want to build his house, and establish a small family with Mary, perhaps start his own carpenter business.  He wouldn't be making lots of money but probably would be able to support his family.  He planned to live quietly and contently. 

This is going to be my first Thanksgiving here in Taiwan.  People here do not celebrate Thanksgiving, but I can.  Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday because I love the cooling temperature, leaves turning color, the turkey, pumpkins and all pumpkin flavored stuff, getting together with family, acorns and nuts..... I love so many things about autumn.  I don't have any of those things now but I realized I still have much to be grateful for here.  So, I compiled a very long list of things I can thank God for.  It's a reminder for me to come back to when I don't feel very grateful.

My life in Taiwan is getting increasingly busier.  Thankfully I went on my favorite Jesus Retreat to spend some uninterrupted time with God.  I came away so refreshed.  I soaked up His love for me as much as possible.  For the first time, I wrote personal love letters from God.  It was hard at first, but later became easier and a great tool for me to feel His unconditional love for me.

I read about a study with cancer patients and was astonished to find that those patients with friends are 45% less likely to die.  Wow.  Friends are important.  But in this technology age, making friends seem to be harder because we don't meet face to face as often.  Once my children become adults, my relationship with them transformed from parent-child to friends.  So, in discovering how to be a better friend, I am learning also how to better relate to my adult children.

A few years into my marriage, I began to notice something is off in our relationship.  I couldn't put a finger on it.  During courtship, he had relentless pursued me and when we were married, he started to ignore me and needs lots of space.  In fact, he prefers to be by himself in his room when no one is around.  His best days are when no one bothers him or demands anything from him.  I feel very much alone in my marriage.  Then from the lack of eye contact, his social anxiety, communication issues, extra sensitivity to smell/sounds, no empathy, and loves random, irrelevant details yet missing the big picture, I began to piece it together.  He is not crazy, he is autistic.  This began my long journey of coping and living with autism.  My sister recommended a book that really explains much of my husband's behavior in our relationship.  It's really great book to understand a spouse with Autism.  It's called "Neurodiverse Relationships" by Joanna Pike with Tony Attwood.

I experienced my first typhoon here in Taiwan.  It was magnificent because I don't remember seeing wind and rain like that in a very long time.  We were not able to go anywhere for two days.  In these two days, I had lots of time to be alone with my thoughts, and it is actually so needed and refreshing!  Being bored is so good for us.  Benefits of periodic boredom | Success God's Way (mysuccessgodsway.com)   

The Bible encourages marriage between men and women.  It's God's will and it's beautiful.  What can be dreamier than a beautiful couple dressed in splendor and lovingly look into each other's eyes?  Who doesn't desire that!?  But I have known many (myself included) that in our focus of finding "the one", we ignored the things we need to change and places we needed to grow.

If I were 25 again, I would have had a much more relaxed view on dating.   Many of my sponsees are young and they have so many questions on dating.  I tell them to relax and meet lots of people.   Dating isn't about finding the right mate, but most likely will lead to personal growth.  To me, that's a much more worthy and realistic goal of dating.

Dad was definitely one of a kind.  So many wonderful memories with him.  The above picture was him at his happiest spot under the Golden Gate bridge fishing, not a worry in the world.  His tan calf muscles glistening in the sun.  He once boasted that when his tennis opponents saw his tan calf muscles, their confidence would be shaken, and some ran for their lives.  Who knows if this was true? I guess when you get to a certain age, you can make up all kinds of stuff and no one could verify it.  Dad certainly did.

There are so many people everywhere all hours of the day, in the city and in the parks.  You can't get away from people.  I am still not quite used to that.  I don't dislike people but I don't want to be with people every minute.  How do you be yourself in the midst of a crowd?  It isn't easy.   Why is it so hard?  Well, it turns out that there are some steps that need to happen first before you can "be yourself".

Last week I went to this little island Liuqiu with my cousins.  It was so much fun and we tried so many different things for the first time.  I am not naturally the fun person; I wasn't sure if I knew how to have fun when I was a kid.  Our culture discourages us from having fun because it was viewed as being irresponsible and a waste of time/money.  But in my recovery journey, I rediscovered the importance of having fun.

I was sick for a couple of weeks.  It left me weaker than usual, and I was not able to fight the negative thoughts and feelings.  Therefore, I had a meltdown after Mother's Day.  This is very unlike me, I am positive, energetic, and resilient most days.  But I hit an all-time low and it took me a while to get over it.   Well, since I learned a few things from this experience, I thought I'd write about it.