Success God's Way

Because of the approaching Mother's Day, I was asked to speak to a group of young moms similar to MOP (Moms of Preschoolers), and because of my age, they were going to gift me with the title "spiritual mom".  That title scares me!  Honestly, I'd prefer "The mom who made the most mistakes", I feel more worthy of that title.  I had done many things in life and had many jobs, but the hardest of them all is being a mom and homeschooling my four kids.  And boy oh boy, I have messed up so many times and because of the mercy of God, my kids turned out ok as of today.  I remembered after my third child, I reached the end of myself and often cried out to God on my knees.  My prayers were much similar to Moses, "God, you gave me these children, please help me to guide them!  I can't do it without your help."  Those were desperate cries for help.

This was my junior high 8th grade class.  I had very little memories of those years perhaps because I intentionally tried to block out the memory during this time because all I could remember was endless studying day and night, very strict teachers and being punished for everything.  I definitely felt very dumb and never good enough.  It could be because I was in an exceptional class.  I honestly had no idea how I got into that class, it was probably a mistake on their part because I was not smart academically nor musically inclined.  I was a mediocre kid with no skills, but somehow I got into the top "Choir Class" back then.  As luck would have it, we had the 30 year old Teacher Hong as our music teacher.  I can vaguely remember the endless practicing of our parts, the tapping of the baton on the music stand to do it again, and we went places for competitions in different outfits.  This was all on top of our regular classes and academic requirements.  Teacher Hong was a slender, no-nonsense teacher who required the best of us.  I remembered she picked some very interesting and beautiful songs.  There were moments when our singing felt like a piece of heaven.  How could these boring rehearsals of singing our parts become such amazing sounds?  It was beyond my young mind.   I thought it was magical.  Under her instructions, our school choir became first place in Jr High choir competition in Taiwan for many years.  Then another high school hired Teacher Hong to direct their school choir, and she taught at that high school most of her life.

I recently traveled to the US for two and a half months mainly for the purpose of taking care of some family business.  It was very busy time while I was there.  Due to the nature of this trip I was not able to see a lot of friends.  Thankfully all was done according to plan.  Because it was a longer than usual stay in the U.S., I had much trouble adjusting back to my life in Taiwan.  I finally had some slower days to think and face my feelings of being back.  I discovered that I had thoughts of wishing that I didn't have to come back because the U.S. was what I knew well and was so used to.  It felt so familiar that I got to be around my kids again.  I loved the cool weather and clean air.  And yes, I ate too much good American/Mexican food.  I got to experience everything that I missed when I moved.  So being back, I had some miserable days when I poured out my heart to the Lord.

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Happy New Year!!  2025 is now in the rear view mirror, time really flies.  Some people say it's just another day, why do anything different?  After all most people' fail at their goals.  But I think that if there is a day in the calendar that makes it easier for us to learn from our mistakes and start afresh, why not honor that day?  If we have done somethings well, then lets make sure we do those things again.  If there are some mistakes to learn from, they can also be our teachers.

This Christmas marks two years for me here in Taiwan.  There are a lot of things I miss about Christmas, one was the Christmas tree with gifts under it and the anticipation of opening those gifts.  I'm not much of a gift person, but since I moved here, it seemed that one of the only way to express love is through mailing my kids some gifts on their birthdays.  It wasn't easy for me but I am discovering the joy of giving.  Giving brings more happiness than receiving.  That's why the Bible said that it is better to give than to receive.

I found out that most Asians don't like flowers.  I didn't before.  Well, the most common reason is that real flowers die and then you throw them away.  It's impractical and short-lived.  It's a waste of money.  They would rather put the money to good use.  These were all valid reasons, and I used to think that way, but I changed my mind about them.  I decided that I love flowers!

Thanksgiving is here again.  It is a season for gratitude.  I often wonder if I love November because of the gratitude factor, because being grateful is emphasized in this month.  There are talks about gratitude on social media, at church, among family and friends, so I look for things that are blessings instead of focusing on the negatives.  Because of that, I am happier.  Well, the turkey being on sale also helped 😄.  Oh, so many things I miss about being in America during the holidays.

I had quite a few visitors here with me these couple of months, and what a treat that was!!  It was kind of nice to see Taiwan through their excited eyes.  So I thought I would write a bit about Taiwan and what surprised me about being here.  It was tough to transition here but there are also wonderful things about being here that I am starting to appreciate.  It has been almost two years now and it is feeling more like home here.  Even my daughter said that I seemed happier here.

First of all, I am one who doesn't like to admit fault.  If it were not for the wonderful CR program, I'd still be there to think that I'm quite ok and an upright person.  Being able to admit our part and evaluate our behavior is a huge part of a healthy relationship and being human.  Dogs,  chimpanzees or the smartest of animals do not have the ability to do that.  Dogs don't bark or bite and then sit back later and think "was that helpful that I did that?"  We humans are gifted with this special  evaluation ability so we can keep improving, whether it's our character defect or space travel or technology.   

I came from a background of suppressing my feelings.  I am not alone.  Those of us recovering from codependency issues frequently have a cesspool of unresolved pain from the past.  The feelings hurt too much to feel and we had no support or permission to deal with them.  So often we used compulsive or addictive behaviors to stop the pain temporarily, drug, alcohol, relationships, busyness, food.  Then in recovery we slowly allow ourselves to unpack those and feel as we slowly came out of denial.  I am getting a lot better in identifying and feeling my pain.  But lately I am really learning about this phrase in Galatians "Live by the Spirit".  

I have a young sponsee who is facing a difficult decision on whether to continue a dating relationship.  I wrote the following letter to her (of course removing names) and google translate it into Chinese.