A little bit about me

A bit about me and my background.  I was born in Taiwan into a loving Christian family.  I am the oldest of three.  I have a brother two years younger and a sister 6 years younger.  We immigrated to the United States when I was 14.  It was not an easy transition for me as a teen.  My parents gave up their good professional careers in Taiwan and instead started a convenient store to support our family.  They had to work from 5am to 11pm.   So other than losing all my friends, having to learn a new language, my parents were never around so I had to take care of my siblings and two cousins who immigrated with us.  I didn't like it but had to suck it up and do whatever it takes to survive.  Thankfully, in my struggles, I found the Lord Jesus.  I grew up knowing the truth, but it wasn't mine until I experienced it myself.  I was so lonely and had no friends that my only friend was Jesus.  I remembered an old hymn "what a friend we have in Jesus", in my desperation, I clung on to Him.  At the time, I brought an old Chinese Bible which I read from cover to cover because I was eager to know the only friend I had.  In reading God's word, I realized that I am a sinner in need of a Savior.  At the age of 16, I made the best decision in my life to accept Jesus into my heart and was baptized.

God was so good to us.  Due to my parents' hard work, the little store supported all three of us through college.  I graduated with a Business/accounting degree.  It was something I am good at and I do love numbers.  As soon as I graduated, I worked as a federal auditor for Office of Inspector General US department of agriculture.  It was the best job I ever imagined an accounting degree can get me.  I worked with wonderful people and I traveled all over the US.  Every audit was different and interesting, and I got promoted from GS-5 to GS-11 quickly.  At the age of 25, I met my husband Ted and we got married.  Soon after our son Caleb was born and we were so excited to be parents for the first time.  But the traveling nature of my auditing career came into conflict of my desire to be a good mother.  God started to call me home.  I resisted, I loved my job and I was making more than my husband.  I knew that when I leave that job, I would probably never have a job like it again.  It was not an easy decision and I wrestled with God, but I could have no rest until I obeyed His voice to homeschool.   He said "Trust me".  It was a huge step of faith and definitely the hardest thing I have ever done.   However, God provided every step of the way and He provided overwhelmingly beyond all our expectations.  By His grace, I homeschooled all four of my children until they graduated high school.  My youngest is now 20 years old!  How time flies!

Something very sad happened 2010 that rocked our worlds.  Mom passed away from her 8 years of struggle with breast cancer.  We were shocked and devastated.  She was only 64 years old, almost 65 but didn't quite make it.   Two years later, my dad also passed away from pancreatic cancer.  Two of the best people I know and love deeply were gone.  When all the affairs were taken care of after their deaths, I didn't know how to go on in life.   I knew my kids still needed me, so I had to function but I was a shell of a person.  For a couple of weeks, I did what I had to do as a mom in the morning, and then daily drove to a nearby Lake and sat there and cried my eyes out.  I hit my bottom.   At the time I remembered my sister had told me about Celebrate Recovery, a Christ-centered recovery program that save her marriage.  She told me to go there. I thought to myself, "what do I have to lose? I didn't even want to live now."  In September of 2012 I walked through the doors of Celebrate Recovery (CR) and my life was forever changed.

I didn't know what codependency was and why my life was unmanageable.  Going to meetings was uncomfortable at first because I thought CR was for "those people" , alcoholics, drug-addicts and really messed up people.  But I later learned that only 1/3 of CR is for chemically-dependent people, 2/3 of CR are for people like me with life issues and are hurting.   When I listened to all the sharing, I realized all the drugs and alcohol and whatever ways we act out is all from deep pain that we are trying to stuff down.  Once we learn to process through our hurts and feel those negative feelings, things will get better.  I have been in CR for 11 years now and worked through so much hurt, habit and hang-ups, but I am far from being done.  They said that our issues are like onions, you peel it and realize that there is a deeper layer you have to deal with, so there is always something that God wants me to work on.  But life has gotten so much better and the best is yet to come.  I will be a "lifer" at CR because for as long as I live, I will need recovery.  Everyone needs recovery.  Rick Warren said there are only two types of people: those who need recovery and don't know it, and those who need recovery and know it.  I am thankful to be in the second group.   Since my parents are gone, CR became my new family. (to be continued....)