Decision to move

I felt a call to move to Taiwan this year 2023.  God confirmed it multiple times.

The initial confirmation came in March 2022 when I was on my way to Reno driving alone and listening to a CD of pastor Tim from long ago.  I collected some of my favorite sermons from pastor Tim who is one of the best teachers I know.  This particular one was too old, but if you are interested, our church service is on YouTube weekly.  

God used the passage of the burning bush to speak to me.  After 40 years comfortably living his life as a shepherd, God appeared to him in a burning bush and tells him to go back to Egypt and lead God's people out of slavery.  God impressed on my heart that after 40 years of being here, in the year of 2023, He is calling me to go back.  He said to me, "This is not only Ted's call, but I am calling you to go back.  Behold, I am doing something new."  

Much like Moses, I had a million questions for the Lord.  God has given me much in these 40 years, the gift of a house, 4 children, 1 grandbaby, possessions and many friends....etc.  But like God calling Abraham to give up Isaac his son, God is calling me to not cling on to God's gifts, but to cherish more than the gifts, the giver of all God Himself.  Abraham chose to believe that God is a God of resurrection and life who is able to resurrect Isaac even when he is dead.  There is nothing that God cannot do.  He is calling me to put my faith in Him.  After this initial understanding of God's will, I started to make preparations for moving.

In Dec 2022, I felt overwhelmed and fearful of this potential move.  The risk is too great.  China is about to attack Taiwan; we hear it on the news.  I will need to sell and give away everything and only can bring two luggage 50lbs or less.  God said to my heart, "Remember 40 years ago you came with nothing except the clothes on your back, yet I have blessed you these years and I can do it again."  In my memory lane 40 years ago, our family went to the garage sales in the neighborhood and bought lamps, tables, chairs and everything we needed for the house.  We rejoiced and gave thanks for God's goodness and provision.  Yes, indeed He provided, even in Mom and Dad's cancer journey, He has been faithful.  God brought to mind story of Elisha being surrounded by the enemy, but his eyes were opened, and he saw God's protection and power is far greater than the danger.  God is always more than the sum of my fears.  After this I took off my shoes and sat by the fireplace with the roaring fire.  I have bad flat feet and cannot walk without shoes.  Like Moses taking off his shoes at the burning bush, I sat by the fire telling God, "Yes, I will trust in You.  I am done running away.  My desire is to do Your will."  I purchased the ticket to go back Nov 28, 2023.

July 2023, I had a chance to go on a "Jesus Retreat" which is what I call a getaway just me and Jesus.   I love Jesus Retreats.  (will write more about this in another blog) During this retreat, I began to ask God why.  I know by now He wants me to go back to Taiwan, but why?  why now? and why Taiwan?  what is Your purpose for me there?  God doesn't owe me an explanation, and sometimes He doesn't explain just like His answers to Job in the Bible.  His answer was simply, "I am God, and my ways are not your ways. " Job learned that he cannot put God in a box, we do not understand everything.  But to my question He responded.  In answering Moses, God says "I hear the pain of my people".  I don't really know what that means.... Taiwan people live prosperous lives, but perhaps they are empty inside, and they are crying out to God.  I don't know what I am going to do about it but that's one of God's answers.  I will just be like Mary and store that answer away for now and hoping one day it will make sense.

The second and third answers aren't easy to swallow as a codependent.  Secondly, I felt that God is removing me from hovering over my adult children so they can grow.  The codependency in me compels me to always want to help them and make their lives easier.  Maybe there is such a thing as too much help.  When I go away, they will need to rely on God more and they will grow in maturity.  Perhaps in this season of my life, I needed to stop hovering and let go.  They are adults, I need to let them figure out life without my help.  I am no longer homeschooling them.  

Thirdly, God pointed out my clutter over the years and He reminded me of my desire to become a minimalist someday.  God is helping me to achieve my desire by lighting a fire under my butt and moving "decluttering" up as a high priority.  Now I have a deadline.  I didn't know how attached I am to the stuff around me.  I have a heart for rejects, so anytime someone wants to throw away something, I will take it and attempt to repurpose it.  I took an analysis once and my core value is "Restore Worth".  But over 40 years, I collected too much and it's time to deal with it all and start over in Taiwan.  God knew that this is a time-consuming and painful process, so He has given me time to do it.  I am very grateful I have until Nov.  After Nov, all my possessions will fit into two suitcases!  Imagine the freedom of that!!!  I can move anywhere in the world in short notice when everything I own fit into two suitcases.  Oh, and the peace of mind that comes with minimum worldly possessions!  I'm actually kind of excited about this aspect and looking forward to living the life of a minimalist (with Ted's cooperations of course).