Mental blocks of decluttering

Published on 12 September 2023 at 09:04

God is a God of order and nature is not cluttered.  Have you noticed how you felt when you go into a clean hotel room or space?  Clutter contributes to stress and anxiety, which causes chronic illness.  But how do we get rid of clutter? Decluttering is very emotional and requires a healthy mindset.  I have learned quite a lot this year about decluttering that I wanted to share.

 

I am happy to report that I am making good progress in getting rid of a lot of things.  I knew this would be hard so I gave myself this entire year to do it.  But because I worked a full time job until July, I only started to tackle this project since then.  So it has been two months and I think I am about 80% done.  Yay!  The event that jumpstart my decluttering was the fact that I had to get rid of everything in my Reno Airbnb in three days.  It was only a two-bedroom house but it was still a huge project.  Thankfully my daughter Pearl came with me to help because she was home from school.  I was most worried about the bigger furniture because I drive a small Prius C and most items don't fit. There were very few donation pick-ups now and they are not only picky about furniture, they require advance scheduling.  So Pearl listed everything for cheap on Facebook marketplace.  We found that if we list the item cheap enough, people will come get it ASAP.  So by God's grace, we did it in 3 days.  We only had to donate a couple of carloads of household items, everything else was sold.  It was also satisfying to see the happy new owners needing my things.  This project helped me see that IT IS POSSIBLE to get rid of everything in a short time.

 

The mechanics of decluttering is easy, all you need is some time and a few boxes. What makes it hard is the emotions and the thinking process that go along with getting rid of stuff.  Surprisingly, it's much like my recovery process.  When my son told me he didn't want most of my stuff, I was so hurt for a while.  Why?  Because I associate myself with my things, so rejecting my stuff is like rejecting me.  But that is far from the truth, so I have to work on my mindset before I can really declutter.  First, clarify your reasons and goal in your mind.  Why do you want to minimize?  For me it's obvious that I cannot take them with me when I move.  Other reason may be for your mental health, getting rid of distractions, not wanting to burden your kids, gaining more living space (your stuff doesn't pay rent), wanting to start fresh....etc.  Always have this goal in mind as you do the task.  It helps to listen to podcasts or YouTube on this subject while doing the task of decluttering.  It helps to motivate me.

 

This is probably another huge topic for another time, but you must limit stuff coming into your house as well as decluttering.  Avoid buying things just because it's cheap and avoid shopping in the stores you know you will buy more than you need.  Ask yourself if you really need this before you spend money on it.  Let your friends and family know that you are trying to minimize so you would prefer consumable gifts.  Don't go and buy things just because you don't feel good.  People love you because you are YOU not because of what you wear.  It's ok to wear the same outfit to the party.

 

You know the movie "Toy Story"? All the toys wanted was to be loved and be played with.  I am weird but I talk to my stuff.  I believe that God wants us to have healthy relationships and that includes our relationship with our things.  Stuff talks to us all the time.  Have you ever sat down to read the Bible and look over and the stuff is saying to you, "pay attention to me, put me away, clean me up, you made a mistake when you bought me."  One of the hardest things for me about decluttering is facing my mistakes and forgiving myself.  Sometimes I bought things thinking they were going to benefit me or be useful, but they were not.  Because I know how much I spent on them, I didn't want to get rid of them.  In those cases, I would apologize to the item for making a mistake and not making them useful.  Then I would learn to forgive myself for wasting money and perhaps wrong reason to purchase.  Then donate the item.  Who wants to be daily reminded of their mistakes?  

 

"What if I need them later?"  This is the reason I kept a lot of my things.  Fear of lack.  If we have not used them in a year, the likelihood of not using it is pretty great.  For the super frugal (yours truly), we can start a box called "Time will tell" and put the item in there.  But after a predetermined period of time like 2 months, you donate all the content.  What if you need it still after you donate it?  Then you can go out to buy it again.  It's called upgrading because now you will have a newer version of whatever it is.  Give yourself permission to do that.

 

"But so and so gave it to me out of the goodness of her heart."  Be set free from this obligation.  They gave it to you so you can do whatever you want with it.  There may be a possibility that she is also trying to pass on her clutter.  How many of us go back and ask the person we give the gifts to what they did with it?  If you don't really use it and don't like it, then set it free to someone else who appreciates it.  Like Toy Story, the stuff wants to find a loving owner too. If your friend really loves you, she will not want you to feel vexed by the gift that she gave because it was meant to bless you.   If she is really your friend, she would care about your wellbeing much more than what you do with the gift.  If you really have sentimental value attached to it, take a picture of it and then donate it.  This applies to pictures, cards, or old items that belong to people we love.  Again, if they love us, they want us to not be burdened with the stuff.

 

"But it's expensive!!"  I have a huge problem with wasting resources because I was raised by super frugal parents who wasted nothing.  That is a huge reason why getting rid of things is so hard.  If I know there is value in the thing, I will have a difficult time throwing it away.  This is why you can try selling the item and turning it into cash.  There are lots of good websites to do that.  Try listing the item at the price you think would sell, and you can keep lowering the price.  If no one buys it, then it may be outdated so just donate it.  I sell a lot of my furniture for the reason that I will not need to worry about hauling it away and breaking my back.  I have push large usable items outside and put a "free" sign on it.  People who need it will come and get it.  You don't have to lift a finger, it's great!

 

Combine items with little bit left or use it up.  Books sitting on your shelf will not make you smarter.  Most of those books you can get electronic copies somewhere.  The technology really helps us to not having to keep too many books, CDs, and DVDs.  Here is an interesting thought!  Most of us live not too far from the store, so think of the store being your pantry and extra storage space.  It's there when you need it, don't worry, it's just 10 min away.

 

Well, so what method do I use to declutter?  Start with a non-emotional area first such as kitchen or garage.  This will build up your decluttering muscles.  I set the timer 30 minutes at a time.  This is an emotional process, and I don't want to overwhelm myself.  I can set the timer another 30 min if I am feeling up to it.  I usually dump out all items in the drawer or put everything in a pile to start because that way I can know that I deal with every single item.  I use two bins/bags, one for donation, one for "put away" (for items misplaced from other rooms), plus the garbage can nearby.  Then I ask myself two main questions, "Does this bring me joy?" and "Is it useful and will I buy it again?"  Handle every item once and go with your first instinct.  Be decisive and trust yourself.  You can do it and you got this with God's help.  "I can do all things with Christ who strengthens me."  And how perfect the context of this verse is finding contentment.  Be content with less because less is actually more peace and space.

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