A healthy relationship with FOOD

In quiet days, I am beginning to feel a deep discomfort from living in a different country. Unfortunately, I found myself turning to food. Food has become my new drug of choice in Taiwan.  I was in recovery for codependency and workaholism.  But what happens when a codependent has no one to take care of and has no job?  Well, here in Taiwan, food is so tasty and cheap.  Whether I feel happy, sad or lonely, I eat food.  Food seemed like my new best friend.  There is only one problem: weight gain.

In the movies, you see the girl eating a tub of ice cream after a major breakup.  I discovered that when I don't feel good, I will search for food.  Sometimes a wave of sadness will wash over me.  I miss my life in the U.S.  I miss my dog, my kids, my friends, seeing nature, having a yard, a car, a bathtub, my support system, speaking English....the list goes on.  Since good food is so widely available, I will go and eat something, which in the moment will bring comfort.....then I felt like I can suck it up another day.

In the U.S.  I like food and I eat well.  Since eating out is so expensive in the Bay Area, I cook most of my meals at home.  Is there unhealthy food choices in the States?  YES.  tons.  But they don't tempt me the same way because I didn't grow up with those type of food and they fill my tummy, but they don't bring me the same kind of comfort that Asian food brings.  A donut or burger doesn't have the same effect on me as a taro bun or a steamy bowl of noodle soup.  There are so much Asian food varieties here and so inexpensive.  I often wonder how these food stands make any money because they charge so little.  Asians love food and cutesy stuff.  I have a tiny apartment, so I have no place for non-functional stuff, and I am quite content with my new minimalist lifestyle.  But food is a tough one.  We have to eat to live.  When tasty, good food is everywhere, it just makes it easy to give in and eat a bit more.  Soon I notice a spare tire around my waist.  Hmmm....was that there before?  What do I do about it?  There is a lot of info out there on weight loss and eating healthy.  However, I'm not looking for a diet.  This is a long journey and I need to develop certain healthy habits that will be my new lifestyle.  I don't have answers and I know Food will be a life-long struggle for me.  But I am shifting my focus away from food and starting to make some healthy changes.  Remember, do not neglect small steps done consistently.  They can lead to big changes.  What are those healthy habits I'm working toward?

1)  Sit with my negative feelings.  Recovery teaches us the first step is stepping out of denial.  There will be times when I feel sad and lonely.  I need to own up and sit with the feelings and not to immediately look for something to numb the uncomfortable feelings.  In CR, I learned that all addictions come from not wanting to feel the feelings.  So, this has to be the first step to stop emotional eating.  Sometimes things just suck.  It's part of life.  Sometimes you feel bad because change is needed.  Then you ask God if it's time to make those changes.  I journal those negative feelings.  By the way, I have two journals.  One positive and one negative.  This is the time to write in my negative journal.

2) Get outside first thing in the morning.  Research shows that we need to go outside first thing soon after we wake up.  If we can see the sun rise outside it's even better.  the key word is "OUTSIDE".  Luckily here in Taiwan, it's warm outside all year round, so it's easy to sit outside for 10 min.  If you have a dog, take the dog outside first thing helps the both of you.  If you live where it's cold, bundle up and go out for a walk or drink coffee on the deck.  Our window filters out a lot of the sunlight we need for our bodies early in the morning.  An adequate amount of sunlight sets the circadian clock and tells our body to get going.  The added benefits are that it also prevents depression and gives us a better night sleep.  When I feel good, I will be making better food choices.

3) Listen to more health-related podcast/YouTube and then take small steps.  I think we all know to eat more vegetables and exercise.  But to practice what we know in our head takes another level.  When I listen to things like the "best cancer-fighting foods" or "tips for weight loss", it gives me added motivation to ACT on what I already know.  It really motivates to see and hear people that are in their 70's and in tip top shape or listen to someone who is passionate about their health or someone who lost 100lbs and completely turned their lives around.  Motivation starts by hearing.  From what I learned from hearing; I will make one positive small change at a time.  It could be eating more varieties of vegetables, drinking more water, or not snacking after dinner.  Then be sure to share and celebrate these small victories.  

4) Stretch out the non-eating period (intermittent fasting).  I didn't know about this until after my breast cancer surgery.  My doctor told me to allow at least 13 hours of non-eating time per day.  I didn't know that when your body is not digesting, it will heal and cleanse itself.  How amazing!  We can help our body function better by eating an early dinner or late breakfast.  Or eating one sensible meal per day if I am trying to lose weight.  Being ok with hunger is a new thing I am learning, especially during bedtime.  In the old days, people in the village didn't have three square meals a day.  They ate when there was food.  Eating meat was even less often back in the days, only when hunting season came.   Surprisingly, people were much healthy in those days.   We were not designed to graze all day.  Fasting is actually good for us.  I am learning to eat less often...and I love how flexible we can adopt this to our schedule.  It's best to have 13-16 hours of fasting time each day.

5) Connect with God and with your safe person to share how you feel.    To me this is the most important and yet probably the most difficult habit.  When I don't feel good, I just want to isolate and curl up in bed.  But it's exactly then we need to reach out.  Humans are not meant to live life alone.  We are designed to live in community.  God said to Adam, "It's not good for man to be alone."  There are at least 55 "one another's" in the Bible.  When you don't feel good, it's exactly time to call or meet with the safe person and talk about your feelings or perhaps something that is bothering you.  Burdens that are shared are halved while joy shared is doubled.  Social media encourages us to only share the cool stuff.   Being vulnerable is scary, it is the starting point of a deeper relationship.  

God is there in your sorrow.  He cares.  Talk to Him and ask Jesus what you need.  Be like a child who skinned her knee and run to Mommy and sit on her lap to seek comfort.   God is near the brokenhearted and He will lead us through the valley of shadow of death.