My dad had a dog Bongchi that we inherited. We've never had a dog before that. She was a beautiful American Cocker Spaniel. After Dad passed away, we had her for 11 years and today we had to put her to sleep. Through much tears, I want to remember and share about our dog and the life lessons she taught me.
Bongchi was the name Dad gave her. Dad was grieving the loss of mom at the time, and he didn't really want her. The name means in Taiwanese "I don't really want you but I will keep you." Bongchi didn't know what her name meant but she believed wholeheartedly that her name means "loved by all". She acted as if everyone she encountered loves her, and it became a self-fulfilling prophecy. she was loved by all. This was the first lesson I learned that Whatever you believe about yourself will eventually be true. The most important word is the words following the statement "I am...." People will sense what you believe about yourself and act accordingly. Bongchi went up to anyone, strangers or family, and expected to be loved because she said to herself, my name is "loved by all".
Bongchi enjoyed the moment to the fullest. She lived in the now. Whether it was shooting breeze in the car ride, enjoying a good belly rub, a yummy meal, a good walk, or hanging out with family, she loved and fully immersed herself in that moment of joy. She did not worry about the future; she trusted her owner would provide all that she needed. I don't know if she thought much about the past, it didn't look like it. But she was fully aware of the present moment, and she enjoyed it as much as she could.
Bongchi knew about self care. She napped a lot. If there was an opportune moment when not much was happening, she took a nap. If the whole day was slow, she took a very long nap, only woke up for mealtimes. When my daughter was stressed out over college exams and pressure of work or friendship drama, she would get mad at Bongchi because Bongchi just slept and relaxed and be herself. She said the life of a dog is so good and she envied Bongchi's life. But Bongchi rested for a purpose, not just to rest. She rested so she could be ready when the time came when out of the blue, her family called her to go to the park or unexpected visitors showed up. She was always ready and enthusiastic to join the owner in whatever endeavor whether planned or not. Self-care allowed her to be more prepared for what life threw at her.
Bongchi had good boundaries. All dogs do. Though Bongchi never bit anyone out of anger, she would let you know clearly when you cross her boundaries, especially KaiKai, my other dog. KaiKai tested her boundaries quite a lot because she is playful. If you get close to Bongchi's food, she would growl and let you know to back off. She didn't like other dogs when we went for walks because she wanted them to know that this person was her owner and she was going to protect her. My daughter Aida also took great pleasure in testing Bongchi's boundaries and annoying her. Bongchi would bare her teeth and wrinkled her nose to let her know her displeasure. We get lots of laughs out of that.
Bongchi treated everyone as if that person was the most important person in the world. When we spent time with Bongchi, we felt special and loved. She treated us with love and adoration, all the while being herself. I don't know how she did that, but she related to each one of us in different ways and she won each one of our love. She made us feel important and special from the time we walk in the door. Love can be communicated without words. It sometimes surprised me how a dog who can only communicate with body language can make us feel so significant. It is true that only 7% of the communication is verbal. Without speaking a word, Bongchi let us know we are loved.
This week had been so hard to see her deteriorating so quickly. I had taken her health for granted for 11 years, and most days paid little attention to her. But as she grew weaker, my family worked together and really loved on her and made her feel comfortable. She went peacefully after everyone had an opportunity to say goodbye. She was a true gift from God to ease my pain when Dad passed away. God's timing, though unexpected, was indeed perfect. I was able to be here to spend the last stretch with her and held her in my arms until she took her last breath. I think my grief would be so much deeper had I been in Taiwan when this happened. This had been a difficult two weeks for our family but though our eyes are puffy from crying, we had each other to lean on during this sadness. I am comforted by the fact that we had 11 years of wonderful memories together. Though painful, there is gratitude mixed in there and a knowing that Bongchi will never be forgotten in our hearts as long as we live. She was indeed most loved by all.
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Chris
My goodness.. remembering Bonchi and all that she taught you is so beautiful! I am so sorry for your loss . Having these precious memories to hold onto is priceless. She certainly loved you all and was well loved by your family. 💕love you, Chris
Hi Christina, thank you for sharing the story of Bongchi, so very sorry for your loss. Our family also just lost our beloved Golden Retriever Buttercups 2 1/2 weeks ago….she was 11 years old. The pain of losing your family pet can only be understood by another person who also went through the same thing. Everything you wrote really resonated with me. It is comforting to know that there is someone who understands how we feel. Thank you so much for sharing Bongchi’s story…
Love that you see all that Bongchi taught you. Even In grief you are still learning, hold tight to the great memories.