Alone with our thoughts

I experienced my first typhoon here in Taiwan.  It was magnificent because I don't remember seeing wind and rain like that in a very long time.  We were not able to go anywhere for two days.  In these two days, I had lots of time to be alone with my thoughts, and it is actually so needed and refreshing!  Being bored is so good for us.  Benefits of periodic boredom | Success God's Way (mysuccessgodsway.com)   

In the days before technology, we would have lots of opportunities to be bored and quiet down our brains.  Cal Newport calls it the "Quiet brain state", which is our default state.  One of my friends loves a house with porch all around it, so when I used to see one, I would pay special attention to it.  It's very rare, but sometimes, I would see old people sitting there on the rocking chairs just observing.  This is like the Quiet brain state when we just notice and have a single internal dialogue.  It's important to help us understand ourselves, the world around us and others.  It helps us process and ponder new ideas and decide what is important to us.  Sometimes I would think thoughts like, "what is it about this movie that sparked something inside me?"  "Why did that person do what she did?"  "Why did that bother me when he did xxx?"  This is such a natural state and essential to our wellbeing that without it, we are stressed, very tired, busy yet unproductive.  Our brains don't function correctly without this constant default state, because now with the availability of cellphone/boredom busters at our fingertips, we are entertained every single minute.  I take public transportation a lot, and EVERYONE is on their phones constantly.   Sometimes I don't want to look at my phone, but because I wanted to blend in, I force myself to look at my phone too because it's weird if I am looking at everyone who are looking at their phones.

I love the examples of Jesus, John the Baptist, Moses, David and Paul.  They all spent extensive time alone in the wilderness.  They have learned to be alone but not lonely.  They knew that God is with them.  In this time of conversing with God, they gain great insights and strength.  Something happens to us when we are alone with our thoughts.  In that quiet brain state, we are able to hear God better.  But do be careful, because not all thoughts come from God. Don't believe every thought and every idea that came through your mind.  

Cal Newport, the author of Deep Work,  is my new favorite guy to listen on YouTube lately.  I believe he is a professor but he takes 2 months at a time to be alone in the woods so he can do some deep thinking and deep work without any distractions.  Jesus took 40 days before his ministry began.  Paul took 3 years in the desert to pray, meditate, study, meet with God, and prepare for his ministry.  Great heroes in the Bible all had times of solitude recorded of various lengths.  It's a necessary practice. But many of us cannot take off 2 months and go live in the wilderness.  Then how do we find time to be bored when we are constantly bombarded with distractions and entertainments on our phones?  Cal Newport summarized it better than I probably ever would.  see his YouTube on  Why Solitude Promotes Greatness - The Power Of Being Alone | Cal Newport (youtube.com)

1) Make your phone boring

Take off any apps that are there so you won't be bored, definitely games to play and some social media.  Instead of allowing some thinking time, the minute we feel bored, we alleviate boredom by pulling out our phones, which is almost always with us.  It's a source of distraction to any real focus work we are trying to do.  He also recommended to NOT read on your phone.  Make some time to read on Kindle or laptops once awhile but don't fill every minute with information, even good information.  This is very hard to do for almost all of us.  I definitely don't have any games, but I have a couple of social media apps and definitely YouTube on there.  I love learning new ideas.  But I definitely don't check social media often.  I love YouTube because I love listening and learning with pockets of time here and there.  My phone is definitely boring.  The main purpose of having a smart phone should be mostly for communication, maps and direction, and quick information such as store hours or bus schedule.   

2) Having a docking station at home

When you are home, have your phone at a charging spot.  If not charging, have a place that you dock your phone.  The main point is NOT to have it with you all the time.  If you need to text someone, go to the phone to do it.  If you need to do a task on it, walk to it and do that.  This eliminates the immediate access of the entertainment and distractions.  I like listening to music or educational podcasts so sometimes I have it playing or wear ear buds.  The point is that when you are cooking, cleaning, or organizing, you allow some time to think and be bored.  When you are doing focus work, you are less likely to immediately get up and walk to the phone, you'd probably finish a section of your focus work.  That's really good for getting deep work done.

3) Practice Boredom

Boredom feels uncomfortable and unnatural at first, because we are not used to it.  So, like practicing piano, we need to practice and get better.  Daily have short sessions of boredom practice, which include a walk, cooking dinner, waiting in line, drinking coffee without the phone being on....etc.  Actually, I have to admit that I have been sleeping with my phone next to me for a while, worrying that maybe my kids will need me while I sleep.  Crazy how that is!  They are adults capable of managing their own lives.  A couple of weeks ago, I made two changes in my relationship with my phone.  I put it outside my bedroom at night and I don't look at it within the first hour of my waking up.  I made myself unavailable to the world during those hours, and guess what?  The world didn't fall apart during those hours! 

Once a week, practice a longer session of solitude, like a couple of hours at least.  Two weeks ago, I went on my first hiking trip, a two-day beginner's hike.  I have to say, I was so inspired by the healthy elderly people!  They are so fit and definitely a picture of excellent self-care!  I had to rest and not see some scenery because I was so exhausted.  Most of the elderlies had the physical stamina to keep going. But guess what?  Other than when we checked in to the hotel at night, I didn't have reception because the hike was deep into the forest.  So, I had two days without the constant entertainment and distraction of the phone.   Not only the world didn't fall apart because I was disconnected, and my brain also felt better.  After the trip, I was sore all over for a week, but for the natural beauty of the forest, hanging bridges, rivers and waterfalls, I'd say it's worth it.  Hiking is a great way to practice boredom and notice things around you and be alone with your thoughts.  

I also went biking by myself a few days ago to a beautiful park with a pond near a concert hall.  It was early in the morning and not too hot....very enjoyable to bike and feel the breeze on my face.  It's hard to look at your phone and bike at the same time.  So biking is another great way to be alone with your thoughts.  If you have a garden, working in your yard and just think about life.  How I miss having a yard!  I bet you can come up with many other creative ways to practice boredom.  Share in the comments if you'd like to.  😊  Create time to be bored and let your brain rest, your brain will thank you.