Life lessons from My Daddy

Dad was definitely one of a kind.  So many wonderful memories with him.  The above picture was him at his happiest spot under the Golden Gate bridge fishing, not a worry in the world.  His tan calf muscles glistening in the sun.  He once boasted that when his tennis opponents saw his tan calf muscles, their confidence would be shaken, and some ran for their lives.  Who knows if this was true? I guess when you get to a certain age, you can make up all kinds of stuff and no one could verify it.  Dad certainly did.

I have thought much about my Daddy lately though Father's Day passed in June but in Taiwan, it is on 8/8.    So it isn't too late to write about him. He was such a fun Dad.  I have heard about him before he was my dad, but again, I'm not sure how much of it was true since he was the one telling the tall tales.  When we looked to Mom in search of validation, she only smiled her sweet smile.  Mom was always 100 percent supportive of Dad and much of the time the only one still laughing at Dad's old jokes.  From what I gathered; Dad was an active handsome leader at their on-campus Christian fellowship.  He was popular among the ladies.  Mom always thought that she was the luckiest girl that Dad actually picked her, but I don't know about that.  Mom was the "Campus flower" (most beautiful) and first in her class.  I would say Dad was the lucky one.  

Confidence

Dad never lacked confidence in his whole life, I am pretty sure that's what attracted mom to him.  I don't know where all that confidence came from, but it just oozed out of him.  He had been through tough times and situations, but he always knew that God would bring us through it.  There was never any doubt.  I don't think we had much money when we were little, but Dad made us feel like there was always going to be a roof over our heads and food on the table.  There was not a whole lot of extra, but we never lacked the basics.  I don't remember worrying about not having money as a family.  It could also be because Mom was a super frugal saver.  She could get by with nothing.  When times were hard, she made our clothes, picked veggies from the backyard and cooked Dad's fish that he caught.  We spent no money and still had a feast.  

I don't have that much self-confidence, but Dad helped me to understand that our God is really big and powerful, worthy of our trust.  Not only that, He cares about His children, us.  We mattered to Him.   We can put our confidence in our amazing God.  When everything fails, we are still in God's mighty hands.  Dad was so healthy, and he loved so many things, like public speaking, tennis, gardening, fishing, singing....etc.  His life was so full and good.  I expected him to live a very long time.  But when he found out he had pancreatic cancer and only months to live, he trusted God and accepted this road of suffering with courage.  He said it was what he prayed for because he didn't want to be a burden and wanted to go quickly while he still had all his wits, plus he would get to see Mom soon.   He didn't shed any tears when he heard this devastating news.  He quietly put his confidence in the God who made him and trusted that God's timing is beyond our understanding.  God's road is higher than ours.  I don't remember if I had this dream before or after Dad passed away, but it was a vivid and meaningful dream.  It was my wedding day.  Dad walked me down the aisle and he entrusted my hand to Jesus.  Ultimately, Dad taught me to trust in a heavenly Father who loves me and will forever provide for me beyond humanly possible, long after Dad passed.

Generosity

Dad loved to bless people. All his life he gave to others. When he owned the store, he helped the truly poor neighbors.  When he went fishing, he gave fish to others. When his garden produced vegetables and fruits, he gave them away. Often, he used whatever he had and cooked lunch for his entire church. He didn't have much, but he took great pleasure in giving others what he had. He especially had a heart for the elderly and orphans. He always visited and helped the elderly in church. In my teen years, I remembered an orphan boy that ate at our dinner table and went to all our family functions. Sometimes that boy brought his friends, and Dad took them fishing or fun places. Like our heavenly Father, Dad was a father to the fatherless.  For years, he wheeled out our neighbor's garbage cans and gave in big and small ways to the community.  Maybe because of that, he always had an abundance of friends, and his life was happy.  One of his favorite songs was written by his best friend Pastor Ian.  We sang it when we were little.  It's called "Its' better to give than to receive."  Dad certainly lived out that principle his whole life.

This principle of generosity has been part of my life as well.  I truly believe the happiest people are givers.  The Bible teaches a principle of sowing and reaping.  If we are generous in love, we will reap lots of love.  

Humor

Lastly, Dad taught me about the importance of humor.  Dad was funny and humorous, even when he was not trying to be. Often, he came alive when he spoke to a group of people. He was an excellent public speaker and was often invited to speak to different groups.  Once he was on TV because he was invited by a Taiwanese station to speak about pruning fruit trees and grafting.  It was at 11pm.  I thought no one would be watching at that hour, I certainly wouldn't.   Well, I was wrong.  After that program, we saw our home phone number flashing on TV.  For the next week or two, our phone was ringing off the hook.   They loved him because he was funny.  Sometimes we would see a naughty look or twinkle in his eyes, then we knew he had something really hilarious to share.   When my kids were little, they also loved to spend time with Agong (Grandpa) because Dad was a kid at heart.  He always made them laugh.  If there was nothing in the house, he would invent some game to play.  One time he had a tube he used for winemaking; he challenged my 4-year-old son for a contest that they would both blow into the tube to see who wins.  When I walked by the living room, I witnessed one elderly and one child blowing into the tube.  Then after a few minutes, one farted and the other one had snot came out of his nose.  Both rolled on the floor laughing.  I took humor for granted when Dad was alive because there seemed a never-ending supply of it.  But when he passed away, things were so sad and serious for a long time.  How I missed him!  

After I joined CR and started my recovery journey, the humorous side of me, which was dormant for years, came slowly alive.  I remembered my first step study group that lasted a year and a half, they thought I was really funny.  It was the first time I remembered laughing at my own dysfunctions and codependency.  It was freeing that I could laugh again.  Then when I taught CR lessons, do leader trainings, taught Sunday School and VBS, I never forget to add some humor for the sake of Daddy.  My sister luckily inherited more of Dad's humor, she is naturally hilarious, and I love her.  Humor is so important.  You don't know until it's missing.  I'm grateful for Dad's influence in our lives.  I am forever changed because of who Dad was.  Thank you, Dad, for continuing to live and make a difference in in our hearts.